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Top Secret 12
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Top Secret 12.adf
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1991-08-15
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³¼SCHOOL RULEZ OK!¼³
¹
"What!?" you scream. No, I meant that
schools have rules (I didn`t even know
they existed). Yep, they`re the things
stupid teachers tell you and you don`t
even give a damn about.
But how many of you KNOW the rules?
Well, my school (yuk!) has decided to
post a MEMORANDUM of school rules to
parents and pupils that we must sign to
agree to, to sign away our freedom, to
be en-slaved,(do you get the picture?).
Here they are with a little comment to
go with it...
³CLASS ROOM RULES
----------------
¹1) Each pupil is expected to present
himself/herself dressed in accordan-
ce with the College (they like to
think of themselves as one) regula-
tions for class.
³DEFINITION: ¹Jeans, baseball cap,
Guns`n`Roses t-shirt.
2) Punctuality must be observed. Late-
nesses will be noted.
³DEFINITION: ¹Don`t bother turning up
late or early,we don`t want
you.
3) Hand a note to the teacher before
class if homework is not done.
³DEFINITION: ¹You can skive off when you
like.
4) Unfinished exercises will not be ac-
cepted.
³DEFINITION: ¹Suits me fine!
5) Each one is responsible for the
neatness of his own desk, chair, and
surrounding area.
³DEFINITION: ¹It`s up to you to make your
own mess.
6) Chewing gum is forbidden in all
areas of the College.
³DEFINITION: ¹Except in your mouth.
7) Interfering with the property of any
other pupil is a serious offence.
³DEFINITION: ¹Protection against queers.
8) Permission to leave must be obtained
from teacher coming into class.
³DEFINITION:¹ If you`re going to leave,
do it quick.
9) Students are forbidden to wear
"Walkman" radios/tape.
³DEFINITION: ¹But you can bring in your
discman.
10) Students are not allowed to leave
the college at lunchtime.
³DEFINITION: ¹You are all being subjected
to biological tests to dis-
cover the effects of lumpy
custard, and burnt sausa-
ges.
11) Smoking is forbidden in the College
and grounds.
³DEFINITION: ¹So long as we don`t see
you, you can carry on.
12) Telephone calls are not allowed un-
less for illness or urgent matters.
³DEFINITION: ¹We`re too tight fisted to
let you use the phone - we
don`t!
13) Bring in your own tissues. Do not
ask to get toilet tissues.
³DEFINITION: ¹The cleaner doesn`t want to
have to clean the ceilings
due to soaked tissues stic-
king to the lights.
14) Any absence from class must be ex-
plained by note.
³DEFINITION: ¹Write it out yourself.
¹
Those were lame rules weren`t they?!
If any school has a lamer computer
teacher than mine, MR QUILLIGAN,
please tell me! He thinks it's great
technical skill to resize a window on
the IBM PS 1 and that viruses will BUST
your ROM and ALL HARDWARE - meaning you
have to buy another computer! UURRGHHH!
³Khul